


Third Person View

by Anonymous



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, Persona 5 kink meme, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 17:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18529786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Fill for the Persona 5 Kink Meme. The prompt was, loosely, "Kamoshida rapes Akira". This story is about that, but not in explicit detail: it's about how Akira deals with the aftermath, and how he deals with the trauma.





	Third Person View

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the link to the prompt: https://personakinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/993.html?thread=879329#cmt879329
> 
> Like I said on the Kink Meme: Akira is a trans guy here (I am trans myself... write what you know, right?). A lot of how Akira reacts in this is how I've reacted to dealing (badly) with my own trauma. Please be careful when reading this. 
> 
> WARNINGS: Rape (though not explicitly described), canon suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, dissociation, disordered eating, misgendering, and threats of forced outing.

**4/18**  
_After School_  
The day it happens, Akira goes back to Leblanc and sits on his bed, staring at nothing. Filled with a nervous energy, he places his head in his hands, breathing deeply, harshly.   
  
_The too-hot touch of a hand on his inner thigh-_  
  
He shudders, and brings out his phone, flipping through apps, looking for a distraction. He can't think about this. He can't. He can't.  
  
He's spiraling. None of his usual interests seem appealing. He's not sure how long he spends, sitting there, mired in numb horror.   
  
"Hey, are you okay?" Morgana asks, staring up at him, eyes narrowing. "Kamoshida didn't do anything weird, right?"  
  
Akira is maybe a touch too slow in replying "No," but Morgana seems to take it at face value.   
  
"Okay, well, I'm hungry, and you should eat too," Morgana admonishes. The thought of eating makes Akira's stomach churn, but he makes himself get up; if he doesn't eat, he won't be able to fight in the Metaverse later. And Morgana can't feed himself, either.  
  
Sleep doesn't come easy. Even with Morgana's comforting weight on his chest, his thoughts keep returning to what happened earlier.   
  
His thoughts change.  
  
He thinks about what Shiho did. Thinks about how she fell. Thinks about how easy it would be to throw himself over the edge, too. Two students who try to kill themselves in less than one week? The media would eat it up. Or maybe Kamoshida would find a way to hide it, and more students would-  
  
Eventually, hours later, he slips into sleep. 

* * *

**4/19**  
_Early Morning_  
All he can remember from his dream last night is standing on a precipice, overlooking a darkness so deep he couldn't see the bottom, and stepping forward- falling- falling- jolting awake, terrified, throwing Morgana off. Morgana hisses in aggravation, but settles back to sleep easy enough (this time, curled next to his side, instead of on his chest).   
  
"Sorry," he mutters. It's too early to be awake, but there's no way he can fall asleep now.   
  
He worries. Kamoshida knows. He could make Mishima tell the entire school. Kamoshida himself could tell the entire school. He could out him.   
  
Tears gather in the corner of his eyes, and he angrily presses his palms to his cheekbones, wiping the tears away. This isn't fair.   
  
Searing anger follows. Kamoshida will pay for what he's done. He'll avenge himself, avenge Shiho, avenge everyone else hurt by that  _fucker_. He's a hollow flame, lit only by rage. If he has to burn himself out to bring Kamoshida down... so be it.  
  
  
_After School_  
Kamoshida smirked when he saw Akira, but otherwise had ignored him. The school rumors weren't anything new. It's a relief, but Akira is terrified of the reason why. What if...  
  
He tries not to think about it. He will make sure it can't happen again.   
  
The four of them tackle Kamoshida's Palace with the fervor and fury of those wronged, but despite their best efforts, they only manage to make it to a dim library before calling it a day.  
  
Akira feels like he's in a daze, that he's a character being controlled, that he's watching himself from third person view. These two weeks have been so horrible. It still doesn't feel real.  
  
He falls asleep nearly instantly, this time, but wakes up at least five separate times. He doesn't remember what he dreams about.

* * *

**4/20**    
_After School_  
The library is a horror show. Akira finds the "Slave" book. Ann finds the "Queen" book. She flips through it, disgust in her eyes, in the way her mouth tightens and she trembles in rage.  
  
"I don't think you should keep reading that, Panther," Ryuji says. "It's just gonna upset you."  
  
It's sensible advice. Ann ignores it, and pushes past her own page, nauseous at Kamoshida's comments.   
  
She stops.   
  
"What's wrong?" Morgana asks.  
  
"I... Is that- Aki- Joker? Oh, God." Ann blanches, looking at Akira in horrified pity.  
  
Akira doesn't comprehend what Ann is saying, for a moment. Then he gets it. He wants to puke. Wants the ground to swallow him. Wants to have never existed.  
  
Akira snatches the book from Ann, looking at his own page in shock, horror, and rage.  
  
The details are-  
  
They're-  
  
"Secretly a girl! What a freak. Took dick like she had experience, though," Kamoshida's messy scrawl states.  
  
Akira can't handle this. He's locked in place, frozen. Someone has hit pause on real life.   
  
"What's so interesting about this book?" Morgana asks, breaking the moment. Morgana reaches up, trying to grab the book, and Akira slams it shut, making sure Morgana can't look.   
  
"Y-you-" Akira's voice cracks. "You shouldn't look at this book. Skull is right. There's nothing good here."  
  
"You sure?" Morgana asks, and Akira nods, distant from his own body.  
  
Ryuji is looking between Akira, Ann, and the book in Akira's hands. He doesn't want to come to this conclusion.   
  
"He- Kamoshida- He- Oh, fuck. I'm gonna fucking kill him," Ryuji says, wide-eyed, staring at Akira.  
  
"Whoa, we're not killing him!" Morgana says. "Get it through your thick skull, Skull! The plan-"  
  
"I know the plan," Ryuji says, clenching his fists, and then sagging. "Yeah. Okay. This- This is so messed up." He looks at Akira again, that same horrified pity that Ann just had, and Akira trembles.  
  
He tries to pretend it's in rage.  
  
"The treasure isn't going to steal itself," he says after a moment, face set stony. This matter is closed.   
  
If he ignores it, it'll go away.   
  
Ann plucks the book out of Akira's hands, not opening it, and places it in the location it needs to be. "Right. Joker's right. We have- to steal that treasure," she affirms, voice unsteady.   
  
They still don't make it Kamoshida before they have to call it another day.

* * *

**4/21**  
_Morning_  
Ann had texted him before school. "Hey, if you ever need to talk about anything, just text me or call me, okay?" her text read.  
  
"I appreciate it, but don't worry about me. We have to stay focused," Akira had typed. Talking? The idea of talking about what had happened is so inconceiveable that he can't even imagine a scenario.   
  
  
_After School_  
Akira manages to avoid Kamoshida the entire day. He can't do this forever, but they're so close to the treasure.   
  
They do manage to reach it, that day. All that's left is the calling card. Akira hopes it works. If Kamoshida tries to touch him again-  
  
Akira tries not to think about it.  
  
Ryuji texts him near bedtime. "Ann said she texted you about yesterday. Akira I hope you're okay, man. We're gonna get that scumbag. Like she said, if you need to talk to anybody, you can talk to me!!!"  
  
"It means a lot, Ryuji, but I think I'll be okay," Akira responds. He's telling the truth. He's lying. The fact that Ann and Ryuji both have offered fills him with an indescribable, expanding feeling, but he's a wreck. He's barely keeping it together. Once they take the treasure, he can burn out.

* * *

**4/22**  
_At School_  
The school is talking about the calling cards, discussing the Phantom Thieves. Akira is nervous, tense. He only sees Kamoshida once, and immediately turns around to avoid him.  
  
Later, Mishima approaches Akira. "Um- Kamoshida wants to see you after school, today, or he says that, uh... something about your other secret?" he says, uncertain. So Kamoshida hasn't told him yet.   
  
Mishima looks awful. Almost as bad as Akira feels. He's favoring an arm, and there's a nasty bruise on his cheek.   
  
"No," Akira says. He wants to lay into Mishima for being such a coward. He feels awful for him. "Tell Kamoshida I said no," he says again, voice steadier than his current emotions.  
  
Mishima stammers, anxious, and then hurries away.   
  
Ryuji approaches Akira, scowling at Mishima's retreating form. "What was that about, anyway?"   
  
"Nothing. But we have to steal that treasure today," Akira says.  
  
"Huh? Why?"  
  
Because the choice was get raped again or get outed as transgender.   
  
"I- I would really appreciate if we could steal the treasure today," Akira manages.   
  
Ryuji gives him an odd look, but shrugs. "Well... all right. Hey, you sure you're okay?"  
  
He takes a deep breath.  
  
No. "Yes," he says.   
  
  
_After School_  
Akira almost doesn't recognize the cognitive version of himself. His eyes slide over the fake, uncomprehending for a moment. It's wearing-  
  
It's wearing red panties and a white sports bra instead of red boxers and a tan binder. It's giggling. The details are true, though.  
  
The mole on his upper left thigh. His messy hair. His glasses. The burn scar on his arm, from when he wasn't careful enough while cooking.  
  
He wants to puke.  
  
He doesn't.   
  
He's distracted, and off focus, though. He barely has any idea how they get through the battle.  
  
Akira doesn't want to see Kamoshida ever again. He doesn't know if he wants him dead. He lets Ann decide, because he thinks he's going to break down if he thinks about it anymore.  
  
Somehow they escape with the treasure.   
  
It doesn't feel like a victory.  
  
  
**4/23**  
_After School_  
Kamoshida didn't show up. No new rumors.   
  
He visits Shiho with Ann, later. She isn't awake. He's still not fully there, and though he can tell Ann knows he isn't okay, she doesn't push him. He feels pathetically grateful.   
  
  
**4/24-4/30**  
The days pass. Kamoshida still doesn't show.   
  
  
**5/1**  
Akira is burnt out. He has no more energy to wonder if he'll be expelled tomorrow. He barely slept last night.  
  
  
**5/2**  
_At School_  
Kamoshida shows up... and confesses. He doesn't name Akira as a victim, though he does say he's sexually and physically assaulted students at Shujin.  
  
It's an end.  
  
Akira feels like he can breathe again. He looks at his friends. Ryuji. Ann. Morgana.  
  
He's not okay. But maybe he will be, one day.


End file.
